Are you looking to expand your family and have a child? If you are two men with a wish to become parents, some of your options are co-parenting, adoption or using a surrogate who carries a donor egg fertilized with your sperm.
At Cryos, we are proud to assist couples and singles around the world to have happy, healthy babies with the help from one of our egg or sperm donors, and we would be honoured to help you too. Below you can learn more about the option of using donor eggs as a gay couple, and what to consider before getting started.
Investigate your options – which regulations apply as a same-sex couple?
Nowadays, fortunately, gay men have great possibilities of becoming parents and have the children they dream of. Before you go ahead and start planning, however, we advise you to examine which options are available to you. The legislation regarding donation, surrogacy, parental rights, etc. differs from country to country. As an example, some countries allow only ID Release (non-anonymous) donors, which is good to know before you start your search for the right donor. Some countries will recognize both of you as legal parents of the child, while other countries might not. If you are unsure about the possibilities in your country, you are welcome to contact us to learn about your options.
Selecting a surrogate - who will carry your baby?
As a homosexual couple, you will need someone to carry your child during pregnancy. If you choose the option of using donor eggs, the surrogate will not be genetically related to your child, and she can be someone you know already or someone you find through a surrogacy agency. Your choice of surrogate might be influenced by personal feelings, your network, economy, and law. Again, knowing your country’s legislation on this matter is important.
Choosing an egg donor as a gay couple – which type of donor do you prefer?
When searching for an egg donor at Cryos, you will find donors with Basic and Extended Egg Donor Profiles. This is a matter of how much information you would like to have about the donor. You must also decide if you want a Non-ID Release (anonymous) or an ID Release (non-anonymous) donor. This is a question of whether you want to give your child the opportunity to get identifying information about the donor when your child turns 18. At Cryos, you can also choose to gain access to pictures of the donors as adults. This gives you a better idea of what physical traits might be passed on to your child.
3 advantages of using an egg donor:
- Your child will be genetically related to one of you
- The donor has no rights to the child, and you do not have to share your child with anyone
- Comprehensively screened donors to minimize the risk of medical conditions in the child
Fertilizing the donor egg – who will deliver the sperm?
If you are a male same-sex couple, you must decide whose sperm to use for the fertilization. You will both be the child’s parents, but only one of you will be genetically related to your child. Some people have a strong wish to share genes, while others have not. Some gay couples choose to provide ejaculates from both men so either partner could be the biological father. Other couples decide to have one child using the sperm of one man and another child using the other. The important thing is that you are both comfortable and happy about your decision.
The unavoidable questions - what to tell your child?
Growing up with gay parents, the child will eventually start asking questions about not having a mother and about how he or she was conceived. This is a natural process when your child realizes that some children have a mother in their family. To be prepared for this talk, it is a good idea for you as parents to discuss how you will tell your child about the donor, and what you will say. Consider also letting close family and friends know how you prefer to mention and talk about the donor.
At Cryos we can help you get started with donor eggs
When you have decided to start your journey towards parenthood, Cryos will be happy to assist you. We are here to help you with any questions you might have, and with more than 35 years of experience, we have a wide network of clinics, hospitals, etc., that can help you get started on fertility treatment with donor eggs from Cryos.
You can take a look in our free Egg Donor Search to learn more about the egg donors or find assistance for how to choose an egg donor here.