PrivateBlogMother to a donor child: Read Harika’s heartwarming story
Parents to donor-conceived children

Mother to a donor child: Read Harika’s heartwarming story

Harika and her daughter

We simply love to read the many touching stories we get from the people we have helped to become parents. One of them is Harika, who has sent us this heartwarming story of how she got her baby Grace.

This is our story

When I found out I was pregnant with a baby, I claimed that I was the happiest person in the whole universe. Girls usually dream about their wedding and plan every detail of it starting in their childhood. I always dreamt about having a huge family. I didn’t know how I would get there, but I always believed that I’d have lots of children.

When I was in college, I had a great boyfriend, and I thought  there would be many others like him thrown at me through my life path. What an unfortunate assumption I made! Now, when I look back at my past relations, I would have proposed to that boyfriend myself, if I knew my love life would be full of disapointments after him.

Instead of crying about it, I listened to my biological clock and visited a doctor. As soon as my doctor told me my body was ready, I took actions about it. My grandmother remarried when she was 75! And she was happily married for 10 years until she passed away. Apparently, you can marry at any age, but when it comes to having children – no matter how young you look, which I do – your insides might not be! My only option was a sperm bank!

I started searching for stories from the children who were born with the help of a sperm donor. I wanted to know what they think, and how they feel now. The majority of the articles I read gave me great feelings about doing it, so I did.

Picking the donor was the funniest part of it. “If I’m paying for it, I will get the best one”, I said as a joke to my friends. 

I made my decision after reading the letter my donor wrote about why he became a donor. I sensed his courage in life and respect for others. There … Two things I would love my child could have in his or her genes.

It’s illegal in my country to have children this way, so I had to search for other countries and sperm banks. Totally by coincidence, I found Cryos International Sperm Bank – and this was in Denmark. Jackpot! A Viking! I had never thought that could happen. Working in Novo Nordisk, I had got closely familiar with Danish culture, and it just felt so right!

A year after my decision, I had the positive test result in my hand. And now, I have the most angelic baby in my arms: Grace Mayra.

She is 6 months old now and giving me smiles that I can look at forever. My vocabulary is not rich enough to describe how I feel about her. I don’t know how she will react towards me and the fact that she is a donor child in the future, but so far everyone around me is being very supportive and enthusiastic about it. I had to fight with our government to get her ID, and I was forced to fill out a name in the father’s name box on the ID – otherwise we couldn’t get it. If I had to, I said, let’s get a Danish name then: Noah! Now, Noah is a symbol that reminds me to pursue my dreams no matter what, and hopefully it will be a great symbol for Grace Mayra to remember not to take life too seriously. 

Getting pregnant is the best decision I have ever made in my life. Now, I don’t have to rush to find the right person, and end up with some terrible guy just because I was blinded with my desire for having children. If there is a “prince” for me, he can come at the age of 75, that’s fine, as long as he is the right one. And if he never comes, that’s fine too because I’m already in love… in love with the most perfect creature!

It is my strong belief that if a woman wants to have a child, she should never let anything stop her, and if a woman thinks that being a mother is not for her, she should never be forced to have children.

Our story can be followed on Instagram @gracemayralove.

A big thank you to Harika for sharing her lovely story with us. To read more stories from parents of donor children visit our blog post Heartwarming letters from parents or read our blog post about Katie who is egg donor-conceived.