Today, there are many different types of families – not only families consisting of a mother, a father, and their children. In Denmark, there are in fact 37 different types of families (Statistics Denmark). For example, families made of a single father and his children, a single mother and her children, parents with children brought together, and same-sex families such as lesbian parents.
At Cryos we are proud to help all kinds of families, and we are - of course - an LGBT+ friendly sperm bank.
Same-sex couples becoming parents using a sperm donor
At Cryos we care about being an LGBT+ friendly sperm bank, and about 35% of the people we help are lesbian couples trying to conceive with donor sperm. For lesbians, using a sperm donor to become pregnant is often the preferred option because one of the women will be genetically related to the child. By using donor sperm, there is also the advantage of full parental rights for the woman carrying the child – or for both women in the same-sex relationship – as sperm donors renounce any parental rights of the donor-conceived children. Different countries have different legislation with regard to parental rights as a lesbian couple. You should investigate the legislation in your own country to know how and if both women can have legal parental rights of the child.
Not a lesbian couple but part of the LGBT+ community?
This webpage mainly targeted lesbian couples, as we see a big interest in donor sperm from this part of the LGBT+ community. But no matter who you are - trans, gay couple, etc., please contact us to find out how Cryos can help make your dream of a child come true.
Find a sperm donor for LGBT+ couples
At Cryos we have the world's largest donor selection, and sperm donors are available to you - LGBT+ couple or not. Browse through our free sperm donor search to find the perfect match.
What to consider as future lesbian parents
Before the journey towards parenthood starts, there are some considerations to take into account. For example, you need to consider how to become mothers, who will carry the baby, and how to tell the child about how he or she came into the world. We have gathered a list of considerations to take into account when you want to become lesbian parents.
What are the options?
As a same-sex couple consisting of two women, you have different options to create the family of your dreams. The decision can rely on different factors such as the legislation in your country, your economic situation and personal wishes for your future family. Some of the options are adoption, using a friend as a donor, co-parenting and using donor sperm for fertility treatment.
Follow the link to read more about how lesbian couples can fulfil their dream of a baby.
Who will carry the baby?
If you choose to use donor sperm to become a mother, you must consider who will carry the baby. In some relationships, it feels most natural for one of the women to carry the child or children. Other couples may choose to let one of the women carry the first child and let the other woman in the relationship carry the second child. Some of the considerations when deciding who should carry the baby are for example medical history and age.
Some may choose to let one of the women use her partner's egg in order for both parents to be biologically involved in the pregnancy. This is what is also called reciprocal IVF.
If you want to read more on the subject of who should carry the child, we can recommend you follow the link to our blog post Who should carry the child - what to consider.
How to tell your child that he or she is a donor child?
If you choose to become a mother with the help of a sperm donor, eventually, your child will ask questions about how he or she was brought into the world. Some studies suggest that parents of donor-conceived children should begin to tell the story to the child at an early age. This way, it will become an integrated and normal part of the child’s identity. There is no exact recipe on how to do this, but you can follow the link to read our advice on how to talk to your child about donor conception. You can also read this blog post where donor-conceived Emma tells how her parents handled this in a kind and calm way.
Do you want siblings for your child?
If you are having a child using donor sperm, you should consider if you would like the child to have genetic siblings using the same donor. Especially when the child grows older, it can be comforting for the child to have siblings they are genetically related to. Here you can read about when and how much donor sperm to reserve for genetic siblings.
How to find an LGBT+ friendly fertility clinic?
Unfortunately, not all countries and fertility clinics allow lesbian couples - and LGBT+ persons in general – access to fertility treatment. If you would like our help in finding a fertility clinic that is LGBT+ friendly and offers fertility treatment with donor sperm from Cryos, we are here for you. Contact Cryos or book a free call to get personal guidance.
Personal stories about using a sperm donor as lesbians
On your journey towards becoming mothers, it may be helpful and comforting to read personal stories from other lesbian parents who have gone through the same process as you. On our blog, we share interesting stories from our clients. For example, you may be interested in reading the story about Phoebe and her wife that made use of fertility tourism to become pregnant or the story about Anna´s upbringing with lesbian mothers. You can also read the blog post from the lesbian couple and influencers Julie and Camilla's fertility journey.
We also encourage you to read what other parents of donor children say. Here we have gathered of few of the messages we have received from happy parents of donor children.
We would like to thank you and the donor so much for making us a family! The insemination worked on the second attempt and now we have the baby girl we have been dreaming of. I cannot put into words how much she fills our hearts and life with joy, love and happiness. I am so grateful for this little wonder! Again, thank you for your service, support and help!
Liz, Lucy and babyUK
We are thrilled and very proud to announce that on 28 October 2016 we welcomed into the world our wonderful baby daughter Helena. She is healthy, beautiful and truly extraordinary, and she has filled our home with joy and love. We would like to say thank you to Cryos for making this dream of ours a reality, and we wish to express our gratitude to the donor for his invaluable contribution to the growth of our family. Cryos has been professional, helpful and very well-organised, and we would recommend them to anyone. We wish the best of luck to all the hopeful moms and dads out there and keep our fingers crossed that they too can soon fulfil their dream of parenthood.
Agnieszka and MagdalenaPoland
You can read more personal messages from parents to donor-conceived children here.
Join our Facebook community and meet other lesbian parents
LGBT+ parents often face challenges on their way to parenthood. Sharing thoughts and experiences with other people can be of great value. Therefore, we have created the Facebook group Family Dreams which is a nice and friendly place to connect with like-minded people. In Family Dreams, you can share your own story, ask questions about for example fertility treatment with donor sperm and LGBT parenting, and see pictures of donor children shared by other lesbian mums, singles, and heterosexual couples. You can join Family Dreams here.
Frequently asked questions about lesbian parents
How many lesbian couples use sperm donors?
Many lesbian couples use donor sperm to conceive - in fact, about 35% of Cryos' private customers are lesbian couples trying to have a baby. Other LGBT persons also benefit from donor sperm or eggs, and as an LGBT+ friendly sperm bank, Cryos will be happy to help you make your dream of a child come true.
How to buy donor sperm as a lesbian couple?
The process of buying sperm for fertility treatment as a lesbian couple is the same as for everyone else. However, in some countries, lesbian couples do not have access to fertility treatment with donor sperm, which is why some lesbian couples travel abroad for treatment. Before you purchase the sperm, you need to find a fertility clinic where you will have your treatment. Cryos can help you find a fertility clinic, where you can have your donor sperm delivered.
What does it mean that Cryos is an LGBT+ friendly sperm bank?
To us, being an LGBT+ friendly sperm bank basically means that we believe that everyone - no matter their gender, sexual orientation, civil status, etc. - deserves the right to become parents if they wish to. We provide donor sperm to LGBT+ persons and collaborate with clinics that offer fertility treatment for lesbian couples as well as others in the LGBT+ community. We have also taken an active role in the work towards the WHO Global Goals with our continuous efforts to create awareness about fertility, and our support for equal access to third-party donation and legal parenthood.