PrivateBlogBreaking down the taboos surrounding lesbian parents

Breaking down the taboos surrounding lesbian parents

Lesbian couple and their child

At Cryos, we believe in the right of every individual, regardless of their family structure or relationship status, to fulfill their desire to have children. But not everybody shares our beliefs, resulting in lesbian mothers being stigmatized and judged based on their sexuality.

Children of lesbian parents will miss out on having a father figure

This is probably the most common misconception regarding two-mother families, as some people think a child cannot grow up happy and healthy without a father figure. However, research has consistently shown that children raised by same-sex couples are doing just as well as those raised by heterosexual couples. The most important part of raising a child is not the gender of the parents, but that the child is raised in a loving, nurturing, and supportive home.

Some children will benefit from having role models of both genders, but they do not have to be the child’s parents. Many children grow up without a father and still manage to find male role models in their extended family, local community, or at their school.

Lesbian parents will raise their children to be gay

The assumption that children raised in two-mother families will grow up to identify as gay is wrong. It is not only incorrect but overlooks the complexity of a person’s sexual orientation. Research has consistently shown that sexual identity is not determined by the environment in which a child is raised.

Children raised in two-mother families may be more open to exploring their sexuality, as they understand that gender does not determine the ability to express love towards a partner. However, their sexuality is influenced by factors within themselves and not by their upbringing. In this way, children from diverse family structures can develop their unique sexual identities, independent of their parent’s sexual orientation.

Children raised in two-mother families will be bullied

Some people fear that children raised in two-mother families will face a more difficult life than others. They fear that children in two-mother families may be at risk of being bullied due to being donor-conceived or having a different family structure. However, no research supports this assumption, as children can be bullied or picked on for various reasons. Unfortunately, you cannot prevent your child from negative experiences, such as bullying, but through education and your family’s unique story, you can make sure they know how lucky and proud they should be to grow up in a two-mother family.

Mother and son playing

The non-biological parent will not share the same love for the child as the biological parent

Another common misconception is that the non-biological parent will not share the same connection with the child or love the child as much as the parent who carried the baby through pregnancy. While genetics can play a role in shaping certain physical and personality traits, the relationship between a parent and her child is formed through love, support, and shared experiences. Being a parent is about providing a safe, nurturing environment, supporting your child's growth and development, and being there for them through the ups and downs of life. These are the qualities that will help build a strong, loving bond between you and your child.

An example of how genetics do not matter is Lisa, a non-biological mother. On YouTube, Lisa shares how being a mother is one of the greatest privileges of her life, and how her connection with her child is not born out of genetics, but love and nurture.

Donor-conceived people will be confused about their identity

Today, many lesbian couples wishing to become parents decide to use donor sperm. Another misconception is that their children will grow up unhappy due to not knowing their biological father. While it is natural for some donor-conceived children to be curious about their genetic origins, research has shown that being open and honest with them about their conception from an early age can help with any concerns they might have regarding their origin.

As a lesbian couple, it is natural to make the sperm donor a part of their origin from the beginning. Once they grow older, they will compare your family structure to others and ask about the difference, so they might as well have known from the start. There are a lot of different books for you to use when you want to explain to your child how your unique family came to be. We have listed some of the best books for donor-conceived children, who you can use to tell your children about their genetic heritage.

Why addressing misconceptions matters

Taboos and misconceptions often stem from misunderstandings or a lack of knowledge, and the best way to overcome them is through education. By addressing these misconceptions and sharing accurate information, we can help break down the barriers and taboos lesbian parents may face. Fortunately, there are many lesbian parents out there challenging and disproving these misconceptions. In our blog, you can read personal stories of different lesbian parents and their journeys to parenthood:

In general, it is important to break the taboos as they may affect people to not follow their dreams. If you want to read more about breaking taboos, we recommend you follow the links to our blog post about the taboos surrounding single motherhood and the taboos surrounding heterosexual couples struggling with infertility. You can also follow the link to read our book recommendations for lesbian parents, which may help you address the taboos.

If you are considering parenthood as a lesbian couple and want to talk to others who are in a similar situation or lesbian couples who have successfully become parents, feel free to join our Facebook group "Family Dreams." You can also contact our Customer Care Team if you have any questions regarding fertility treatment with donor sperm.