French solo mother Mam: “You will never feel alone again”
With the help and support of her family and friends, the 36-year-old Mam chose to become a single parent and is now the proud solo mother of a 6-month-old baby girl. In this blog post, the single mother by choice shares her experience and everyday life as a single parent. She wishes to inspire other women to go down that same path and not be afraid of the consequences.
French solo mother by choice
My daughter was conceived through IUI with donor sperm from Cryos. The decision to become a solo mother was very easy for me. I saw myself getting older and not finding the ideal life companion, so I decided to become a single mother by choice. Despite this choice, it does not mean that I am now off the dating market!
My whole family supported and encouraged me in my effort. It was important for me to know that they would accept my choice. Also, my friends who have always been very present in my life supported my decision. Today, they are all delighted to share moments with me and my daughter.
Choosing the right donor
Choosing a sperm donor was not an easy thing, because it felt like an extremely important decision to make. That is why I spent many hours behind my computer screen looking at the different profiles Cryos had to offer in their Sperm Donor Search. In my search for the perfect donor, my focus was on finding someone who matched the physical criteria I liked. The colour of his eyes and hair was very important to me, as well as his height. I also really liked the possibility of hearing the donor's voice, which also played a part in my choice.
It took a long time, but once I found the perfect donor, I was even more sure of myself and able to take the next step - insemination. Luckily, it worked on the first round - and nine months later my daughter was born.
The solo mother roller-coaster
The daily life of a solo mother is a bit like riding a roller-coaster. There are days when things are fine, and everything goes as planned. I try to take advantage of my daughter’s nap, to rest at the same time. But occasionally, there are days when everything does not go according to plan and the fatigue of being a solo mother takes its toll. Days where I would love to be able to pass the baton to a partner. Luckily, my mum lives nearby. So, if I need a break or a babysitter, she is very helpful and always willing to come over.
Despite the fatigue and the days when everything does not go according to plan, being a mum is extraordinary and provides me with indescribable moments. Moments that I do my best to treasure these as I know it is a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
A typical day in our life
We usually wake up around 9 a.m. By then she is hungry and it is time to get fed. Afterwards, I play with her until naptime. I am fortunate to work from home which means that I have the pleasure of my daughters’ company while working. In the afternoon, we play again yet before another nap. Then I give her a bath and finally another meal in the evening before we go back to bed. My daughter and I sleep in the same bed so I can breastfeed without having to get up at night.
Being a solo mum is very intense and takes a lot of energy, but it is all worth it because my baby gives me so much happiness every day. Even though it can be challenging at times I hope to have a second child someday as I would love for my daughter to grow up with a sibling to play with.
I would like to encourage other women with the desire of being solo mothers to not be afraid and follow their dream of motherhood. You will never feel alone again, and your child will fill your life with happiness!
If you are curious about Mam Issabré, she shares her journey as a solo mother on social media. Here, you can follow her Instagram and Facebook. If you want to read more stories about Solo Mothers by Choice and their children, we can recommend our blog post about Marisa - a single mum from Portugal.