Guide to tell your friends and family about going through fertility treatment

The journey to parenthood can be hard and full of emotions for many couples and individuals, and going through fertility treatment only adds more hormones. When it comes to sharing the news regarding fertility treatment with your friends and family it is normal to feel a lot of emotions. As a result, you can find tips on how to talk to your family and friends about fertility treatment here:

Decide how much detail you want to share

If you have a partner, you need to agree on what to say - and not to say - before opening up to others. Consider your own needs and respect those of your partner. There may be details about your treatment or choice of donor that you want to keep to yourself, and that is perfectly fine.

Consider your timing

Talking about fertility struggles can be emotional both to you and to the person(s) you are opening up to. If you can, think about choosing a time and place where you can have privacy and will not be interrupted in the middle of your talk.

Set boundaries

Let them know that you will give updates and share results when you feel up to it - and tell them not to ask about treatment results. Being asked about an update or having to share negative results with others can cause unnecessary stress.

Help them along

Tell them how they can support you – including do’s and don’ts. It can be difficult for others to know what you need and how to approach it, and their attempts may appear insensitive if you do not guide them a little.

If you are using a donor

If you are using a donor, decide how much information you want to share about him/her. Do you want others to know details from the donor profile, or do you want to keep the information to yourself and your child? Be clear to others about how you prefer to speak of the donor. Even though donor conception is rather common today, you may also have to educate others regarding how to speak of the donor – and how not to. For example, some people might refer to a sperm donor as a father, and to avoid confusion for your child later on, you may have to kindly remind them that the donor is exactly that – a donor.

Take care of yourself

Most importantly: be true to yourself. It is okay to decline invitations to baby showers and other events if that is too hard for you to participate in. You may also have a hard time planning in advance due to the unpredictability of fertility treatment. If you can, tell people why you decline or cancel with short notice, as honesty will help most people understand. Just be careful not to isolate yourself completely. Going through fertility treatment is physically and emotionally demanding and may ultimately trigger mental health issues such as social isolation, stress, or depression.

You may find it relevant to read more about the different types of fertility treatment if you want to explain to your family the treatment type you are going to receive. Find the different blog posts about fertility treatments here:

• Intracervical insemination (ICI treatment)
• Intrauterine insemination (IUI treatment)
• In Vitro Fertilization (IVF treatment)
• Intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI treatment)

If you are interested in learning more about fertility treatment with donor sperm, contact our Customer Care Consultant, to receive answers to your questions. You can also read our other guide on what to say to someone going through fertility treatment.