Single mother to a donor child gives 5 good tips
Becoming a single mother to a donor-conceived child is a difficult decision. 41-year-old Pernille knows everything about that – three years ago she had a child using a sperm donor. Here, she gives you 5 good tips if you are considering having a child as a single mother or if you are already in the process.
1. Find people to discuss with when choosing your sperm donor
Follow your gut feeling and choose the sperm donor who is right for you. Use other people to discuss with, but choose the right people. Others cannot tell you what is right to do for you, but the right people can ask the right questions. This way, it will become easier for you to know what is the right choice for you.
You can read about how to choose between a Non-ID Release or an ID Release sperm donor here.
2. Practice being open about your choice
At an early stage before and during the pregnancy, you should practice being open about everything, also the challenges. Share your positive thoughts and your concerns with good friends and ask them for their support. You will need people who can support you on your journey and help you with practical things such as grocery shopping.
3. Get mental energy by having control over your economy
Buy secondhand equipment and clothes. It is expensive to have a little child, but you can manage it for a lot less than you think. To have control over your economy will give you mental energy, which you will need. You can, for example, find secondhand equipment and clothes online or in a thrift shop. There is a lot of nice and very cheap stuff to find.
If you focus a lot on the expenses of having a child, you may be interested in reading our Prices and Payment page, where we have examples of the different sperm donor profiles and their cost.
There is a lot of money to save if you buy used baby clothes and equipment.
4. Be honest to your child
Be open and honest to your child already when he or she is an infant. Tell the child how he or she came into the world at an early stage. This way, he or she will not be able to remember when the story was told for the first time. Practice this already before your child is born.
You can read some good advice on how to talk to your child about donor conception here.
5. Remember to get some alone time
It is important to create time for yourself without your child. Find one or more babysitters at an early stage. Temporaries in the nursery are good candidates because they will know your child from the nursery. This way, your child will not feel that he or she is being taken care of by a stranger.
If you are considering becoming a single mother by choice using donor sperm, you may also be interested in reading this blog post about how 42-year-old Angie from The Netherlands made the decision to become a single mother. You can also read how to order donor sperm for your fertility treatment here.