LGBTQ Path to Parenthood
LGBTQ Couples with families are growing throughout the United States with the help of our donors. Here we discuss your options for starting a family and a few things to consider along the way.
Using donor sperm and eggs are great options for lesbian couples and gay couples wanting to have a child, that genetically related. By using a sperm or egg donor, there is also the advantage of full parental rights, as Cryos donors renounce any rights to the donor children.
What to consider
As an LGBTQ couple ready to start your path to parenthood, there are some considerations to keep in mind.
What are the options?
As a LGBTQ couple, you have different options to create the family of your dreams. The decision can depend on different factors such as your economic situation and personal wishes for your future family.
Who will carry the baby?
If you choose to use donor sperm to become mothers, you must consider who will carry the baby. In some relationships, it feels most natural for one of the women to carry the child or children. Other couples may choose to let one of the women carry the first child and let the other woman in the relationship carry the second child. Some may choose to let one of the women use her partners egg for both parents to be involved in the pregnancy. One of the considerations when deciding who should carry the baby are for example medical history and age.
For gay males, a surrogate needs to be chosen and donor eggs should be used. Then you must decide which father will contribute the sperm for the child. Many couples provide ejaculates from both individuals so either partner could be the biological father.
How to tell your child that he or she is a donor child?
Eventually, your child will ask questions about how he or she was brought into the world. Some studies suggest that parents of donor-conceived children should begin to tell the story to the child at an early age. This way, it will become an integrated and normal part of the child’s identity. There is no exact recipe on how to do this, but we have gathered some advice on how to tell the story to your child in the blog post: How to talk to your child about being a donor child. You can also read this blog post where donor-conceived Emma tells how her parents handled the conversation.
Do you want siblings for your child?
If you are having a child using a donor, you should consider now if you would like the child to have genetic siblings using the same donor. As the child grows older, it can be comforting to have siblings that are genetically related. Here you can read about when and how much donor sperm to reserve for genetic siblings.
On your journey towards becoming parents, it may be helpful to read personal stories from other people who are going through the same process as you. Visit our blog to see Cryos success stories. Read the story about how Karen and Cathrine became mothers to their son or the story about Pheobe and her wife who traveled to Denmark to have fertility treatment.
What do other parents of donor children say? Here are a couple messages we have received from happy parents of Cryos donor children.
“We were in your shoes. It can happen. Keep faith. We had losses, a tubal pregnancy and some times it just didn’t take. To a point we were so negative (we tried for years, fertility issues and 🏳️🌈 ). STAY POSITIVE BABY DUST TO YOU ALL. Cryos is an AMAZING company. We just celebrated our daughter Belle’s 1st birthday. We searched high and low for the right donor and finally found it here at Cryos! Thank you Cryos”Lisa & NayUS
“Becoming a parent and trying was not easy but we both never gave up. Doctors became a 2nd family to us and finally after the 5th try we had our baby boy. Don't rush the process! All I say to everybody is never give up! It is important to get along with your doctors, you will be seeing them a lot and trust them. After an IUI, relax, take the day off. I wish you all great luck on your journey and Cryos International USA was a pleasure to do business with so thank you. Any problems we had on Cryos' end were resolved immediately. We have straws reserved and will try again eventually. Thank you Cryos, your team made our dreams a reality. PICK CRYOS YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED! They will a phone call away to help anytime.”Jessica & JaclynUS
See more about what the parents say.
It can be of great value to share thoughts and experiences with other people who are on a similar path to parenthood. Therefore, we have created the Facebook group Family Dreams which is a nice and friendly place to connect with like-minded people. In Family Dreams, you can share your own story, ask questions about for example fertility treatment and donor sperm, and see pictures of donor children shared by other families. You can join Family Dreams here.