ClientBlogBeing donor-conceived is Kiara's superpower!
Donor children

Being donor-conceived is Kiara's superpower!

Childhood picture of Kiara and her family

Kiara Schuh was raised in a family consisting of her mother and her brother only. She now agrees that being donor-conceived is a superpower that has positively shaped her life. Read about Kiara’s upbringing, her book, and how she got to meet her donor and her donor siblings.

Kiara has written the book Chosen Family: A Donor-Conceived Woman’s Journey to Redefining Family. From the start, Kiara’s mother told her and her brother about the fact that they were conceived through fertility treatment. We have asked her about her book and her experience growing up as a donor-conceived child.


Growing up as a donor-conceived child

“My mother was very open about sharing my brother's and I story. I cannot remember a time when I did not know I was donor-conceived. Openness was one of the most important parts of creating the amazing childhood I had.

A popular saying goes “it takes a village to raise a child” and I fully agree with it. It was the case during my childhood. My mother is a very social person and received a lot of help in raising my brother and me. The people that played a role in my childhood, have made an impact on my life, and helped shape me into who I am today, are what I call my Chosen Family. I still talk to many of them, like my old nanny who became sort of a grandparent to me. I think family is a word that covers a lot of different people that you do not have to be related to. They do not have to be related by genetics; they just must be related by heart.

I never missed having a father. My mom is a powerful woman, and she never had any problems with fulfilling the role of both father and mother. If there was anything my mother could not do, I knew that I could seek help in my Chosen Family.”

Kiara and her family

My mother is my best friend

“My relationship with my mother is very good. We are like two pods in a pea, and she means the world to me. She is retired and only lives one hour away, so she will often come by and visit me. My mother and I were also blessed to share a common interest in learning more about my genetic heritage. She has even become friends with some of my donor siblings’ parents.”

Finding my genetic heritage

“When I became a teenager, I started to become more interested in my genetic heritage. Every once in a while, I would talk to my mother about it as I felt the desire to meet my donor or find any donor siblings I might have. During the whole process, my mother was very supportive in my search for my donor. She encouraged me to pursuit my dreams of finding my roots. We obtained my donor’s information by following the formalities required by tissue banks, and even though it was tough, we managed to find him!”

Meeting my donor

“Through the DNA app 23 and Me, I found the sperm donor who helped conceive me. I contacted him with no expectation of what was to come. But surprisingly, he was very curious about me, my childhood, and the person I had become. His interest in me made me very happy and I suggested a physical meeting. My mother and I met him and his daughter at a café and talked for hours about everything in both of our lives. It was a nice day, and I am glad it happened.”

Meeting my donor siblings

“I found a lot more through 23 and Me than just my donor. I managed to find my donor siblings and we currently have a group chat of 11 siblings. We talk regularly and every year we plan a trip to visit one of the siblings where everyone is free to join. I even invited my donor siblings to my wedding.

In the group chat, we have a lot of focus on boundaries, because we do not want to force anyone into a relationship. If you want to share and participate it is great, but it is also okay if you do not want to do it. As an example, my brother is very different from me. He does not want to participate in the group chat and does not have any need to talk to or visit our donor or any siblings, and that is okay. Neither I nor my mom try to force him, we respect his decisions, and try not to talk about the subject when we are together.”


Kiara and her book

Writing the book Chosen Family: A Donor-Conceived Woman’s Journey to Redefining Family

“I wrote the book Chosen Family because I wanted to show people that family is a term that covers many different types of families. The old version of family focuses on people related to you, but my family, my Chosen Family, is all the people I met during my life that ended up influencing who I would become. I also wanted to share my story about being donor-conceived because I love it. It is part of my identity and who I am. One time, I was at a friend’s house and talked to some of her friends about becoming pregnant with donor sperm, and after I shared my story, they were really considering it. I feel like we connected on a whole other level, so I think it is a form of superpower – my superpower.

Hopefully, the book can be an example for parents of donor-conceived people on how to tell their children about donor conception. My advice is always the same, be honest and tell them about their story from the start, thus giving them the best chance of being happy. Some children may find it difficult to be donor-conceived, but you should just try to meet them where they are and do your best to help them understand.”

You can read more about Kiara Schuh by following the links to her website and Instagram profile. 

Cryos is here for you

If you are interested in getting pregnant using donor sperm and have any questions, we are here for you. Our Customer Care Team is ready to help you via phone at +1 (407) 203 1175, via e-mail at [email protected], or via live chat on our website.