How do I cope with infertility?
Many couples who are on their way to start a family will experience fertility problems at some point. Coping with infertility is one of the most difficult things to deal with as a couple. If you are going through a period of infertility, you will most likely experience a variety of concerns and stress.
The feeling of infertility is similar to the one you experience when loosing someone you care about. Therefore, understanding the process of grief is an important factor when talking about how to cope with infertility. By following the link to our blog post about the five stages of grief, you can learn more about the process. Here below, we have gathered 6 tips on how to cope with infertility.
1. Remember that you are a team
It is very common to feel guilty and many couples are tempted to blame each other. Remember that no one is to blame for infertility. It will be of no use to give you or your partner a hard time, as this will only make you feel frustrated and upset. Instead, you and your partner should stay as a team and support each other. This way, you can deal with the new reality in the best way possible, keeping the lines of communication open.
2. Educate yourself on infertility
Try to look at you and your partner as a treatment team, who have the responsibility of being well informed on all aspects of infertility. The power of knowledge and educating yourself helps with the sense of powerlessness and this can further help you to feel in control of your situation.
One way to educate yourself on infertility is through books. A lot of books have been written on how to cope with infertility and here below we have gathered a list of 5 books you may find helpful:
- Taking Charge of Your Fertility
- How to Make Love to a Plastic Cup
- It Starts with the Egg
- Conquering Infertility
- The Infertility Journey
3. Get the support you need
It is important to talk about your experiences and find support in others who understand what you are going through. You can find support in many ways; your doctor, other couples, local support groups, Facebook Groups or different national organizations.
4. Find ways to manage stress caused by infertility
Going through fertility treatments can be a stressful time filled with uncertainty. Therefore, it is important to find ways to deal with it. Planning ahead can help you cope emotionally and financially, as well as setting limits and sticking to them.
Furthermore, learning mind-body techniques, such as meditation, breathing or yoga can be a great way of mastering stress. Exercising, eating healthy and planning fun activities can also help to manage stress as well as balance you and your partner’s life.
5. Acknowledge your feelings
When suffering from infertility there are a lot of different feelings flying through your body. At the same time, you could be going through fertility treatment, where the types of medication you need to take are triggering all kind of different emotions. Therefore, it is important to acknowledge your feelings to both your partner and the people close to you.
6. Consider infertility counseling
Since the grief caused by infertility is similar to the feeling you have when loosing someone you care about, it could be a good idea to try infertility counseling. In infertility counseling you and your partner work together with a therapist, trying to process the feelings each of you have as well as the tensions they might cause between you.