4 ways to take care of yourself and your mental health during fertility treatment
The mental side of fertility treatment is often overlooked when talking about the different aspects of going through fertility treatment. To shed light on the mental aspect and how to take care of yourself, we have asked Cryos employee Christine, a trained midwife and nurse, to write a blog post about the importance of focusing on your mental health during fertility treatment. Read Christine's four tips on maintaining your mental health and well-being during fertility treatment here.
Tip no. 1 – Make sure you have at least one person to talk to or consider joining a network of people in the same situation as yourself
Some women and couples going through fertility treatment can at times feel lonely because going through fertility treatment can be difficult for others to talk about. As a result, people tend to avoid the topic during conversations. I worked for 7 years at a fertility clinic, where I experienced several couples with one or both partners feeling lonely. Often, one partner felt lonely because of handling the emotional side differently than their partner, making them feel like they were alone with their feelings. Be aware, that sharing too many details about your treatment may cause you to feel sad, as your friends keep asking about the last egg retrieval, fertilisation, blood tests, etc.
Having different strategies to handle the emotional side of fertility treatment may cause tension and discussions in a relationship. Therefore, my first tip is to ensure that you have at least one person amongst your friends or family in your social circle to share your experiences and emotions with. Another alternative is to join a support group with others in a similar situation as yourself. If you find it difficult to share your experiences with friends and family, then follow the link to our blog post containing a guide on how to tell your friends and family about going through fertility treatment.
Tip no. 2 – Remember to give yourself mental breaks/pauses not related to fertility
The second tip is to allow yourself mental breaks during treatment, as you often feel sorry for yourself - and that is okay! It is not constructive to drown yourself in self-pity. Try going for a long walk and give yourself room to feel that everything is awful, without feeling guilty. You can also do someting creative to clear your head to think of something else than your treatment. You can also focus on more practical breaks like organizing your storage room, cooking delicious meals, or redecorating your home.
Tip no. 3 – It is okay to say no
Fertility treatment can be a straining experience, so remember that it is okay to decline tasks at work or to say no to social gatherings to focus on yourself instead. You do not have to be the first one to volunteer to take notes or help. Let someone else take over; your turn will come again.
Who is Christine Von Müllen?
Christine is a trained midwife and nurse with many years of experience in different hospitals in Denmark. She also worked at a fertility clinic for 7 years, where she experienced the importance of focusing on your mental health during fertility treatment. She currently works at Cryos as a donor coordinator and has been for 7 years. As a Donor Coordinator, she takes care of the screening of donors and talks with them about their choice of their Sperm Donor Profile.
Who is Christine Von Müllen?
Christine is a trained midwife and nurse with many years of experience in different hospitals in Denmark. She also worked at a fertility clinic for 7 years, where she experienced the importance of focusing on your mental health during fertility treatment. She currently works at Cryos as a donor coordinator and has been for 7 years. As a Donor Coordinator, she takes care of the screening of donors and talks with them about their choice of their Sperm Donor Profile.
Tip no. 4 – Remember that your friends and family usually mean well
When attending social gatherings, you might encounter comments that feel hurtful or offensive but are meant as comfort or encouragement. If someone starts telling you about others in treatment or those who got pregnant because they stopped focusing on it, remember that it is well-intended, even if clumsily executed. Try not to let it affect you too much and focus on what feels right for you.
Fertility treatment usually affects your social life to some degree
Some people undergoing fertility treatment start to notice pregnant bellies and strollers everywhere during the treatment period. Seeing everyone else getting their dreams fulfilled often leads to feelings of envy and sadness as you are reminded of what you are struggling with.
Some find it challenging to support friends or family who have announced a pregnancy or just given birth to a child. It is not comfortable to feel this way, but it is completely normal, and you should try not to feel ashamed or guilty about having these feelings.
Sometimes, you need to attend an event where it is difficult to avoid alcohol without being asked if you are pregnant. Prepare yourself for these types of questions and consider whether or not you are ready to face these questions without becoming too sad or upset.
If you have questions or need guidance in relation to your fertility treatment, please book a call or contact the Cryos Customer Care Team – we are here to help you.
Let us help you on your journey to parenthood
At Cryos, we give you full access to see all donor profiles including pictures, voice recordings, handwritten letters, and more. Just create an online account by providing only your name, email, and country. A Cryos account is free and non-binding.
You are never “off the clock” during fertility treatment
During treatment, your focus tends to be on the next ovulation and the following treatment. As a result, you might want to live as healthily as possible by avoiding alcohol and fatty food. Constantly considering what you do and eat can be mentally draining.
It is completely natural, as you want to improve every chance of a pregnancy occurring. But try allowing yourself to have a break from the thoughts about your treatment and lifestyle. Someone once told me, "If I had a child, I could ask my mom to babysit over the weekend when I have to attend a wedding. But when receiving fertility treatment, I cannot have anyone take my place. I wish I could just take a break for two days and be free from medication".
Relevant material for people in fertility treatment
Hopefully, you can use some or all of Christine’s tips to increase your mental health during fertility treatment. After a number of treatments, some couples have to use other methods to fulfil their dream of a child. Follow the links below to read more about the process of different fertility treatments with donor sperm:
Begin your search for a sperm donor here