Donor sperm for lesbians and LGBTQ+

Through the years, Cryos has helped many LGBTQ+ individuals to become parents, and we are honored to be a trusted partner in this life-changing journey. Approximately 35% of our private clients are lesbian couples seeking to start a family, and many other LGBTQ+ individuals also rely on our donor sperm or eggs. If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community and exploring your options for becoming a parent, read on to discover the possibilities and key considerations. Please feel free to contact our Customer Care Team if you have any questions. They are always happy to answer any questions you might have.

Preparing for parenthood as LGBTQ+

Deciding to have a baby is an exciting step, and it is natural to want to get started right away. However, when fertility treatment is involved, some planning is necessary. Here are a few things to consider as an LGBTQ+ individual beginning the journey to parenthood.

Investigate your options

There are different ways of starting a family as LGBTQ+, including adoption, surrogacy, or using a sperm and/or egg donor. Here we focus on using a sperm donor to get pregnant, but you should consider your options and decide what feels right to you. One of the benefits of using a sperm donor is that one of you will have a genetic bond with your child. By using a Cryos sperm donor you also gain the advantage of full parental rights, as our donors renounce any rights to the donor-conceived children.

The cost of using donor sperm

Understanding the economic aspect of fertility treatment is key to making informed decisions about your fertility journey. In general, two factors influence the total cost of using a sperm donor to conceive:

• Donor sperm costs: The donor sperm costs depend on your choice of donor and sperm quality. The more you want to know about the donor, the higher the price. You can see the cost of donor sperm from Cryos here.
• Price of fertility treatment: The fertility treatment costs vary significantly from country to country, clinic to clinic, and from treatment to treatment. Due to the significant variation in prices, we recommend researching the fertility clinics close to you.

Who to carry the baby?

Depending on your family constellation, you may need to decide who will carry the baby. In some relationships, it feels most natural for one of partner to carry the child or children, while others know they want to have more than one child, letting one partner carry the first child and the other partner carry the second. Some of the considerations when deciding who should carry the baby are, for example, medical history and age.

Choosing a sperm donor

Finding your sperm donor match can be both exciting and overwhelming. To make the process easier we suggest that you start by asking yourself the following questions: Do you want your child to be able to contact the donor in the future? How much do you feel you need to know about the donor to feel confident about your sperm donor choice? These will help you narrow down your options. You can also read our guide on how to choose a sperm donor.

Our experience is that many LGBTQ+ couples choose a donor with similar physical or personality traits as the partner not carrying the child, and if this is the case for you, you can use our free donor search tool, Face Matching, to find sperm donors that look like you. See our full selection of donors in our sperm donor search.

Learn from other LGBTQ+ parents

Connecting with other LGBTQ+ parents and supportive communities either in real life or online may be beneficial to you here and now - but it may also be nice for your family in the future to have a network of families like yours. In our Facebook group, Family Dreams USA, you can ask questions about topics such as fertility treatment with donor sperm and LGBTQ+ parenting, and see pictures of donor-conceived children shared by other LGBTQ+ parents, singles, and heterosexual couples.

You can also read our blog posts with personal stories:

• Transman Aaron shares his and his wife Kayla’s journey with Cryos
• Interview with Kelli and her wife about their decision to use a sperm bank

Donor sperm treatment for LGBTQ+

There are various types of donor sperm treatments available for LGBTQ+ individuals and couples entering parenthood. The most popular treatment methods are home insemination, IUI, IVF, and Reciprocal IVF.

Home insemination (ICI with donor sperm)

Home insemination, also known as ICI with donor sperm, is the simplest and cheapest form of artificial insemination, where you or a partner perform the procedure yourself in the comfort of your own home. The donor sperm is inserted into the vagina using a small plastic needle. As a US resident you can order donor sperm from Cryos for home insemination including an at home insemination kit. 

Follow the links to read more about home insemination:

• About home insemination with donor sperm
• The cost of home insemination
• How to perform home insemination

IUI with donor sperm

If you prefer to let a doctor or other healthcare professional perform the insemination, IUI is another type of artificial insemination. In IUI treatment, a doctor uses a small plastic tube to insert the sperm into the woman’s uterus. The procedure requires no pain medication and only takes a couple of minutes. If you have an irregular menstrual cycle, IUI in stimulated cycle may be recommended, which means fertility drugs will help mature an egg and time the ovulation to improve your chances of a pregnancy. 

Follow the link to read more about IUI vs ICI treatment.

IVF with donor sperm

In IVF treatment, the egg is retrieved and fertilized in a lab, making the treatment method more invasive, time-consuming, and expensive than IUI. This also means that IVF, in general, has a higher success rate than home insemination and IUI. Fertility doctors will often recommend IVF to people who struggled with fertility issues in the past or have tried several inseminations without success.

Follow the link to learn more about IVF treatment.

Reciprocal IVF with donor sperm

Reciprocal IVF is rather popular among lesbian couples and is also a good option for trans men who have cryopreserved eggs. During reciprocal IVF, eggs are retrieved from one partner and fertilized with donor sperm before being transferred to the other partner’s uterus, where it hopefully develops into a pregnancy. This way, both partners are involved in the pregnancy. 

Common concerns for future LGBTQ+ parents

Using a sperm donor to get pregnant is not that different for LGBTQ+ individuals compared to other people. However, there may be some concerns and considerations that not all future parents share. Here we address some of them.

Parental rights for LGBTQ+ parents

The legislation regarding parental rights for LGBTQ+ people differs from country to country. Some countries recognize a co-parent from birth, and other countries require a second-parent adoption. Some countries sadly have laws against same-sex parents in general, making it impossible for both parents to be recognized as legal parents.

Before embarking on your journey to parenthood, we recommend that you investigate the legislation where you live to know how and if you can have legal parental rights to the child.

Becoming a non-biological parent

Some future LGBTQ+ parents are concerned about their relationship with their child when becoming a non-biological parent. However, at Cryos we strongly believe that love makes a family and that a natural attachment as well as unconditional love will be there, no matter how the child is conceived.

The well-being of children in LGBTQ+ families

Some people fear that children raised by LGBTQ+ parents may be at risk of being bullied due to being donor-conceived or having a different family structure. However, no research supports this assumption, as children can be bullied or picked on for various reasons. Today there are so many ways of starting and being a family, and LGBTQ+ people and families are much more represented in movies and tv series than before. Children are therefore more used to seeing and meeting different family structures than earlier generations. And according to Susan Golombok, Professor of Family Research and Director of the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge, there is no reason to worry about your child’s well-being in relation to your gender identity, sexual orientation, etc.:

“Children thrive in all different kinds of families. What really matters is the quality of relationships between children and their parents.” 

Unfortunately, you cannot prevent your child from negative experiences, such as bullying, but through education and your family’s unique story, you can make sure they know how lucky and proud they should be to grow up in a LGBTQ+ family.

Get personal guidance on your journey to parenthood

If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community and looking to learn about the possibilities of becoming a parent, then feel free to contact our Customer Care Team. They are always happy to answer any questions you might have and help you on your journey towards parenthood.