Caitlin and Leah’s journey - Starting their own family
Caitlin and Leah are an LGBTQ+ couple that has been together for almost 8 years. Their story began when they met through their struggles with mental health and have been together since and even started their own family. Read their story and learn how they became each other’s anchors.
The blog post you are about to read is written by Caitlin and Leah.
How the journey started
Very soon after we got together, we realised how strongly we desired to start our own little family. For many years it was simply just a dream of ours, but it often felt very unachievable. A lot of questions going around in our heads, but the main one being HOW TO DO IT? We did not know that sperm banks existed, and everything felt very complicated. If we only could tell past Caitlin and Leah, that everything was going to be just fine.
At the end of 2021, we really began considering embarking on our fertility journey. We must have spent hours upon hours watching other same-sex couples on YouTube or TikTok going through their fertility journey trying to soak up as much information as possible.
Finding the right clinic
After tonnes of research, it was time to make the first step: find a clinic. We must have phoned around 3 to 4 clinics in and around our area until finding that one fertility clinic that felt right. We ended up choosing a fertility clinic located one hour’s drive from our house, as we felt very comfortable with them. They were LGBTQIA+ friendly, had amazing reviews, and seem to know a lot about reciprocal IVF (we wanted Leah to carry Caitlin’s egg).
On our first appointment at the clinic, we both underwent internal examinations. They checked Caitlin’s follicles to see how many eggs she had and to get an idea of when they would perform the egg retrieval. Afterwards, they examined Leah’s uterus to see if it was healthy and if she was able to carry a pregnancy. Thankfully, her uterus was healthy so we could continue the treatment.
Going into the appointment, we were so excited but also very apprehensive, worrying about the “what ifs”. However, when we left the clinic, we felt elated and had an extremely positive in our bodies. We felt very very blessed and as soon as we got into the car Leah, being the emotional one out of the two, just burst into tears.
Let us help you on your journey to parenthood
At Cryos, we give you full access to see all donor profiles including pictures, voice recordings, handwritten letters, and more. Just create an online account by providing only your name, email, and country. A Cryos account is free and non-binding.
Choosing a donor
Now it was donor time. Wow, all we can say was – what an experience, it was so surreal to us. Our clinic recommended we use Cryos as the quality of their sperm was excellent. They have the highest number of registered pregnancies worldwide!
As we used Caitlin’s egg, we wanted to choose a sperm donor with similar features to Leah so that our baby would look like a mixture of us. It was easy to find a donor through Cryos, as they have filters to help you find a donor with the right hair colour, eye colour, blood type, and even the donor’s height. It is also possible to see more information about the donors like baby pictures and even pictures of the sperm donors as adults. We also looked at their extensive medical history, as well as their immediate families. Not only this, but we also got to hear in their own voice, why they chose to become a donor. With our donor, we instantly knew he was the one, he matched what we were looking for and when we heard the reasons why he wanted to be a donor, we literally got goosebumps!
Having so much information right at our fingertips, was amazing. We felt like we knew our sperm donor and the amount of information made us feel very comfortable with our choice. It was amazing that such a hard decision felt relatively easy to make.
Raising a donor-conceived child
As we are writing this blog post, Oakley is in front of us on his plat mat laughing away. Our hearts are so full, it makes the rollercoaster of IVF as a lesbian couple and all its emotions so worth it. We would go through it 20 times to have him. There are no words to describe the feeling of seeing your child laughing and being happy.
A question we get asked a lot is will you explain to Oakley that he was donor-conceived? The answer is yes. We are currently making a scrapbook for Oakley and any future donor-conceived children we might have. The scrapbook will show his mummies' relationships, how we got together, pictures from holidays, as well as a section explaining how we decided to have him and the process we went through. Our donor is ID Release, meaning that when Oakley and any future children are 18 they can get in contact with their donor. If they want to contact their donor, we will fully support that.
If you are reading this and about to embark on your fertility journey, we completely understand the excitement and hopefulness but also, that everything might feel utterly overwhelming. Our advice to anyone starting this journey would be, there are never too many Facebook groups to be a part of. It is really lovely and comforting to be a part of a community of people going through similar.
We wish you all nothing but happiness and success!
All the best, Caitlin and Leah
Resources for lesbian parents
If you, like Caitlin and Leah, are interested in using a sperm donor to get pregnant, then follow the link to our guide on how to purchase donor sperm. Besides the guide on choosing a donor, we also have other resources lesbian parents, future and current, may find helpful. Follow the links below to read the blog posts: