Donor-conceived children – everything you need to know

Summary of this article

• Definition of a donor-conceived child: Children born as a result of donor conception are conceived using donated sperm and/or eggs typically provided by a sperm or egg bank.
• How donor-conceived children are doing: Research indicates that donor-conceived children are well-adjusted and that they are no different from children in other families.
• Talking to the child: Openness and honesty are important to prioritise when raising a donor-conceived child, as they will have questions about their origins and how they came to be.
• Parental desire: These children are highly desired by their parents, who choose this path to parenthood, including single mothers, lesbian couples, or heterosexual couples dealing with infertility.
• The parent's fertility journey: The process involves evaluating different donor options and understanding the financial implications of various fertility treatments.

What is a donor-conceived child?

The definition of a donor-conceived child is a child born as a result of a donation from an egg and/or a sperm donor. The parent(s) can use a known donor, but in most cases, the donor is found in a sperm or egg bank. This means that the donor-conceived child has at least one parent to whom it is not genetically related. Nevertheless, donor-conceived children are often considered some of the most wanted children on the planet because their parents have planned and fought for them to be conceived. No matter the family structure, donor-conceived children exist because their parents have a lot of love to pass on to a child.

If you want to read more about the different family structures, we recommend reading our blog post on rainbow and same-sex families.

How is it to be a donor-conceived child?

Children conceived with the help of a donor are just like other children. They are complex individuals with their own opinions, feelings, and personalities. Therefore, there are also many different ways a child can feel about being donor-conceived. Some do not think about it, while others spend a lot of time searching for their donor and possible half-siblings, trying to learn more about their genetic heritage.

We have talked to four donor-conceived people with different needs in terms of exploring their genetic heritage. Follow the link to our blog post about being donor-conceived.

Talking to your child about donor conception

Honesty and mutual respect lay a strong foundation for any relationship, including the bond between parent and child. Being open about donor conception allows your child to build their identity on truth and transparency, which strengthens trust and understanding within the family. When you have a child with the help of a sperm donor, it is a good idea to consider early on how to tell and talk to your child about being donor-conceived.

Read our guide on How to talk to your child about donor conception.

Reasons to have a donor-conceived child as a couple or a single woman

Becoming parents and starting a family is for many people an important part of their life. While some get pregnant the natural way, others need a bit more help to fulfil their dream of a child. There can be multiple reasons to become a parent to a donor-conceived child, but what they all have in common is the excess of love and longing for a child.

• Single Mothers by Choice: There are two types of Single Mothers by Choice. The single mother choosing to become a parent because she wants the freedom of raising a child on her own and the single mother that uses donor sperm as her plan B.
• Lesbian parents: If you want to become parents as a lesbian couple, you can either use donor sperm or adoption. One of the advantages of using donor sperm is the genetic relation between one of the mothers and the donor-conceived child.
• Heterosexual couples: The reason for heterosexual couples to use donor eggs or sperm is infertility. One of the reasons for heterosexual couples to use a sperm or egg donor is to maintain a genetic relation between one of the parents and the child.

At Cryos, we wish to help anyone who has a dream of a child. If you dream of a family and need donor sperm, we can recommend you look in our free sperm donor search.

What is the cost of becoming pregnant with help from a donor?

The cost of becoming pregnant with the help of a donor depends on a lot of factors. One of the most important factors in terms of total cost is the type of fertility treatment you are going to receive. As an example, IVF with donor sperm is more complex than IUI with donor sperm, which influences the total cost of becoming pregnant with a donor-conceived child. Beside the fertility treatment you also need to order the donor sperm. The cost of buying sperm depends on the quality, the sperm donor profile, and whether you want your child to be able to contact the donor in the future (ID Release or Non-ID Release).

You can see the current sperm bank prices at Cryos here. As an example, if you choose an ID Release donor with a Basic Profile and order 1 IUI MOT10 straw, you will need to pay 1.373,50 EUR (incl. VAT) for the sperm, delivery, and a Quota Reservation.

How to start the journey towards a donor-conceived child

When the decision to become parents with the help of a donor has been made, you are probably excited to get started. If you plan on receiving treatment in a fertility clinic, your journey starts with a consultation at the clinic. Before the consultation, it may be a good idea to find out if you can receive help to fertility treatment through the public system. In some countries you can receive financial support on your journey towards parenthood.

When the plan for your fertility treatment is ready, the next step is to choose a sperm donor. There are a lot of different factors to think about when choosing a donor. If you want advice on the different factors you should think about when choosing a sperm donor, we can recommend you read our blog post on the subject.

When you have chosen a donor, it is time for you to place the order. Before placing the order, we recommend you talk to your fertility clinic, since each clinic has different preferences regarding the type of sperm and MOT (sperm motility). In general, you should expect around 5-6 rounds of treatment with donor sperm, before a successful pregnancy is achieved. We recommend you make a reservation of sperm from your favourite donor, so you know there are enough sperm for the whole fertility treatment process.

Stories from donor-conceived children

If you think about becoming a parent through donor insemination, you may be curious about how donor-conceived children feel about being donor-conceived. When you read donor-conceived children’s stories you must remember that donor conception has changed during the last decade.

The use of ID Release Sperm Donors (non-anonymous), the recommendations about being honest with donor-conceived children, and the number of children now born with the help of a sperm donor, have all changed how donor conception is viewed.

If you are interested in reading stories from donor-conceived children, you can see a selection of the blog posts we have here:

• Anna is a donor-conceived child and a part of a same-sex family. In the blog post “My life as a donor-conceived child” Anna shares how it was growing up as a donor-conceived child with two mothers.
• 48-year-old Uffe is a donor-conceived child, and the most important part of his story is that he has a father even though they do not share genes. As a 10-year-old Uffe received the news that he was conceived with the help of a Non-ID Release Donor. Read how Uffe felt and how it affected his upbringing in the blog post here.
• As a 5-year-old Fredrik was told that he was conceived with the help of a sperm donor and since that day it has been a part of his story. In Fredrik's blog post, you can read his personal story about being donor-conceived.

Donor-conceived people are generally doing well

Susan Golombok is a Professor of Family Research and the Director of the Centre for Family Research at the University of Cambridge. She has studied different family forms including donor-conceived children and has published several books on the topic.

Her studies show that donor children are well-adjusted and that they are no different from children in other families. She explains that donor-conceived children who are told about the donor early on, do not seem to be distressed - they are either not very interested in their origins or are curious to know more. Children in different family forms may however still experience stigmatization: “The make-up of their family does not affect the wellbeing of these children, but intolerance of their family does.”

Learn more about donor conception

If you are interested in donor conception and want to learn more about the subject, then follow the links below to our resources on different subjects related to donor conception:

• Pregnancy options for lesbian couples
• Using a sperm donor to get pregnant
• 7 tips for choosing a sperm donor

Are you planning to have a donor-conceived child?

At Cryos, we are ready to help you achieve your dream of a child. Contact us by phone or mail if you have any questions regarding donor conception or need any help getting started.

Contact Cryos